Brainsturbator

Get In Tune With Chronobiology: Part One

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Human Cycles Foot Machine

Like most science, Biology is still struggling to free itself of the dark ages.  We live our lives in a continuum, yet most biology textbooks are still content to take a single snapshot of a human being and pretend that they’re actually discussing reality when they break that snapshot into component parts and study them.  Humans are not objects, though—we’re ongoing processes, moving around on a planet that’s teeming with organic life and orbiting around an unthinkably huge star. 

For this precise reason, I’ve been getting heavy into “Chronobiology” lately—it’s currently considered a sub-discipline but in the decades to come I believe it will take it’s place as the most accurate and useful approach to biology that we have.  There has been a lot of secular back-slapping in recent years about how totally great and amazing science is, compared to relgion—an endless stream of atheist-pundits pointing out that unlike the rigid dogmas of Faith, sceince is constantly revising itself and changing.  And yeah—when you compare scientific progress to something that doesn’t progress at all...things look pretty good.  However, the sad fact is the wheels of science turn slower than the average lifespan of a human being. 

Because of this, the notion that human organisms exist in time and are subject to cyclical changes is still considered a novelty, instead of the only sane approach. So here’s your chance to get a few decades ahead of the game—your introduction to Chronobiology.  It’s going to take us from the outer limits of the galaxy to the smallest particles in your body, and if you don’t think the ride was informative, fascinating and downright badass, you’ll get a full refund.

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The Brainsturbator Fractal Toolkit

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Mandelbrot Set Chaos“EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG.” That’s such a cliche it became a joke before I was even born.  The good news is, I’m not here to sell you on mere paradigm change.  (Although, if you’re looking for some, check out Hump Jones.) What I’m referring to here is Euclidian mathematics—flat surfaces, straight lines, and solid objects.  I have no words to explain the rage I felt when I first got into fractal math and realized I’d been saddled with useless, outdated bullshit in high school.  I’ve been working on correcting that ever since (and as anyone can see, failing more or less completely).

I’m not going to explain why everything you know is wrong.  Too much work. Instead, I’ve compiled the single best collection of resources for fractal self-education that exists.  I say that with total confidence because I’m psychotically arrogant—but also because I’ve spent a long time building up this collection and I haven’t seen anything better.  Furthermore, anything online that comes close to this is already included here, so this list has eaten the competition, at least according to Set Theory: Brainsturbator contains them, yet they do not contain Brainsturbator.

With no further ego sickness, and not even another word of sarcasm, I proudly present to you the Brainsturbator Fractal Toolkit.

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HOLY SHIT THESE ARE GREAT WEBSITES: Brainsturbator Favorites

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Kid Internet Takes His Revenge We were brainstorming ideas for this title, but I decided that instead of making something catchy up, I should just f***ing swear. After all, what separates Brainsturbator from all those other weird science sites is 1) my cheerful willingness to be offensive and immature, 2) my total contempt for copyright laws and common sense, and 3) my voracious consumption of psychedelic drugs.  There’s no sense in pretending we’re some sort of respectable operation when I give out awards.  Hell, odds are a few of these sites would rather not be associated with me.

This is a collection of what I consider to be some of the best websites on the internets.  I spend a truly unhealthy amount of time on the internets, so I appreciate finding someone who’s put in work and built a quality resource.  This is in no particular order and not all of it will be interesting to you: I tend to have a much wider Curiosity Zone than most people I talk to.  A number of these websites are truly amazing and completely obscure, because the people who run them don’t want to deal with Search Engine Optimization, Web 2.0, keywords, or any of the other obligatory bullshit of “blog” culture.  And that’s a beautiful thing. Here’s a toast to Fucking Art—let’s begin:

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Shameless Filler: A Codex Serpahinianus Gallery

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Codex SerpahinianusThe Codex Serpahinianus has a reputation as a mysterious, impenetrable book.  Having gotten ahold of an excellent scanned copy, I have to say that reputation was unfounded.  The Codex is an early study of the fractal dimensions of apparently “flat” surfaces, such as paper, and the shapes generated by ink along that landscape.  As you will see in the first two scans, all of the intricate species, landscape and cultures within the pages of the Codex are the result of iterative changes in a chaotic environment—just like you and me.

The extraordinary “Codex Seraphinianus” is a book of 400 pages in the form of an encyclopedia—graphical letters, signs, animals and plants, anatomy and chemistry, creating a book to view and to admire. Its writing, completely invented, could never be deciphered even with the most technologically advanced machine, but it can be intuited, loaded with emotional meaning that washes over the eyes.

paper closeup microscopeI give away the scan without malice—I don’t think I’m exactly hurting the market for existing copies of this book.  The Codex is ultimately an artifact, not a message—it’s a reminder that flesh-surface of actual paper has a power that electrons on a screen do not.  Everything in the Codex was written and drawn by hand—evoking illuminated manuscripts and Da Vinci’s legacy of dope notebooks.  Some of the best tea I ever had in my life was picked by monkeys in the Fujian province of China.  It’s called Monkey-Picked Tea, and it’s $37 for 3 ounces.

At least the Codex is free.  Much love to Luigi Serafini, the primate who hand-crafted this:

Sorry, due to traffic this file has been removed for a bit, digg + 150meg pdf is crippling my server.

Codex Serpahinianus
CODEX SERAPHINIANVS (150 MB SCAN)

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Facebook, the CIA, and You.

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I Facebooked Your MomAfter over a decade of being immersed in the conspiracy theory culture—and I’m still there wether I like it or not—my core beef remains the same.  It’s not something unique to conspiracy research.  It’s a universal problem with all true believers: exaggeration for dramatic effect.  Subtlety is interesting.  Details are brainfood.  Overstatements are good for getting people alarmed and worked up, but what happens when people start realizing they were decieved?

Is Facebook a CIA front, devoted to identifying, tracking and crushing dissent in the college generation?  Actually, no.  Facebook is a website, devoted to “social networking.” However, there’s also a lot more going on behind the curtain.  As always, it’s the grey areas that interest me the most.  So with this article, I want to ask refined and specific questions to get accurate and detailed answers.  Because it’s not an exaggeration to say that there are very real ties between Facebook and CIA—and there’s a whole covert landscape of semi-legal databases, companies selling private information, and the new horizon of computer-driven “Data Mining”. 

In short, this is a great angle to sneak a peek one of the most hidden, and profitable, sectors of the US economy.  What we’ll see is a lot less simple than a good conspiracy theory, but I also think it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than the “Facebook = CIA” mantra that passes for “investigation” on the internets.

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A Conversation with GOMAR2

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Gomar2 self portraitIn the past year, I’ve been becoming a much more optimistic human being.  This is due to two things: first, seeing several of my lunatic projects take on a life of their own (and even make me money), and second, meeting up with a small network of truly amazing people.  GOMAR2 is one of them—I find this fellah to be an inspiration.  I figured it’s only right to introduce him to the Brainsturbator audience, since this is a perfect example of the “win/win/win situation” structure that’s been fascinating me for the past 12 months.

I win, because I get to present you the reader with dope content.  GOMAR2 wins, because he gets his message and his art out through a new outlet.  And you win, because this is a great interview.  An incredible interview.  See, I only wrote the questions, so I’m allowed to say that. In related news, I’ve been snoozing on the depth and extent of my international network of power weirdos, change agents, and grey magicians.  There will be quite a number of interviews in the coming months, so I’d appreciate feedback or criticism if you have any. 

With that said, let’s commence the conversatin’...

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“Sense of Wonder” Maintenance, Round 2

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brainsturbator sense of wonder maintenance 2Every one in a while, it’s important to remind ourselves that we live in a Universe we don’t know shit about.  Sure, we’ve figured out a vanishingly small percentage of what’s going on, and we’ve got all kinds of cultural systems to keep ourselves from thinking too much about How Much We Don’t Know—but if you really sit down outside and think about it, you have no idea what’s going on around you at any given second.  Odds are, this will not change within your lifetime.

And it’s not like I’m trying to make you specifically feel like a moron—it’s just because you’re a human being.  We’re all morons, trapped inside mental cages we can’t even see, most days.  So rather than focus on the hilariously grim nightmare apocalypse meltdown that’s going on all over the Earth right now, I’d like to take this Thursday to give you a booster shot of awe, wonder, and optimism.  It’s been a stressful few weeks for the American people—a number of celebrities have been going to rehab and prison, and there might be some other stuff going on, too. So let’s take a collective breather and look closely at some truly amazing stories that have passed under the radar and over our heads.

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DESPOTISM: A Most Educational Short Film

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Despotism movie introI’d like to start by thanking Jeff Wells of Rigorous Intuition for first letting me know about this movie.  I downloaded it at least a few months ago and it sat on my desktop unwatched until last night, when I was clearing space and deleting old files.  I figured I should at least watch it before I removed it, and boy howdy am I ever glad I did.  This humble little educational film peeled my eyelids back in a big way.  Today it would be considered subversive entertainment, and yet it was being shown in classrooms around the country back in 1946.  It is a truly remarkable little movie, clocking in at just under 10 minutes and packing as much whallop as any of the “radical” documentaries making the rounds online these days.

It is an artifact from an America long since gone, a nation of informed democracy, economic security, educated voters—and most of all, a nation of meaningful patriotism.  By that I mean the polar opposite of what we hear today—“my country, right or wrong”—this was 1946, where people were proud to be Americans and loved their country because it was right

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“The Case of Kirk Allen,” by Jacques Vallee

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Codex Seraphinianus scriptToday I’m going to type out one of the most illuminating passages from one of Jacques Vallee’s best books, Revelations.  It comes at the conclusion of his case study on UMMO, a UFO cult the existed in Europe and Latin America.  (If you’re not familiar with UMMO, start here and I’ll get you up to speed.) It is the story of how one man, by the name of Kirk Allen, fabricated an entire cosmology in fantastic detail of an alien world.  His inventions had such intricate detail and internal consistency that he nearly drove his therapist insane. 

I will be referring back to this repeatedly over the next month, because it’s an important point in this information age: you need to be more cynical. I don’t mean bitter and constipated, I mean too informed to fall for bullshit.  I mean able to instinctively recognize when someone is lying to you.  The Overload Maneuver is a classic cult technique.  Who are you to judge the Urantia Book until you’ve read all 2097 small-type pages?  It could be the answer to everything and you won’t know until you’ve read it, right?

There are many similar cases, of course.  Consider the Codex Serpahinianus, an entire illustrated encyclopedia about another world, written in a completely unique and still undeciphered language.  Consider the work of J.R.R. Tolkien, who created Middle Earth in such detail that today many people suggest he was actually describing the secret history of the planet Earth, based on some occult sources he uncovered at Oxford.  And consider the case of Kirk Allen—I’ll turn the microphone over to Jacques Vallee for the rest of this article:

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