Personally, I don’t see how DD is any different from the numerous, and loving, working BDSM relationships I’ve wandered through. Not as a participant, just as a friend aware of what was going on. 

I also think “swl2” has been very polite and reasoned, no insults, no swears, no reason to ask ‘em to leave.

Sexuality is an intensely difficult subject to discuss, especially when religion gets mixed in.  I always find that open curiosity is the best policy, especially when I think I “know” what’s going on, who I’m dealing with, what they believe, etc.  When I listen, I generally find out I was wrong, and I often tend to Learn New Things in the process.

thirtyseven - 14 July 2008 11:05 AM

Personally, I don’t see how DD is any different from the numerous, and loving, working BDSM relationships I’ve wandered through. Not as a participant, just as a friend aware of what was going on.

Because christians who are usually made to feel guilty about their sexuality now have a biblical justification for getting kinky.

Also, if your wife wouldn’t normally be down with something like this you can always use your antiquated book of lies to handily coerce her. Then beat her with it.

Sure, but there’s lots of antiquated books of lies.  I guess I hold no particular grudge against the Bible, it’s been a very useful and interesting book most of the time.

christians who are usually made to feel guilty about their sexuality now have a biblical justification for getting kinky.

That’s a good thing, right?  Humans exploring sexuality in a loving relationship = good thing.

It seems like a lot of you assume that Christians are so dumb and brainwashed they can’t really make decisions for themselves, so this is all coercion.  Sorry, I don’t buy that.  I sure as hell don’t buy Christianity, either, but that word is shorthand for billions of very diverse human beings.

Generalizations fall more than a little flat on that scale.

thirtyseven - 17 July 2008 10:39 AM

That’s a good thing, right?  Humans exploring sexuality in a loving relationship = good thing.

It could be a good thing. Maybe. Still, humans looking to an ancient book as a guideline on how to live their lives = not a good thing. People living in inequality = not a good thing. Does the woman spank the man, too? Who disciplines him? For someone who I thought believed in freedom, you seem all too keen on taking women’s right’s back thousands of years.

thirtyseven - 17 July 2008 10:39 AM

It seems like a lot of you assume that Christians are so dumb and brainwashed they can’t really make decisions for themselves, so this is all coercion.  Sorry, I don’t buy that.  I sure as hell don’t buy Christianity, either, but that word is shorthand for billions of very diverse human beings.

Yes, religion is coercion. More specifically, THIS is coercion. You put billions in bold like that’s some kind of insurmountable logic bomb you dropped at the end of your sentence. How could so many diverse human beings be dumb and or brainwashed? Sad to say, the majority of mankind is not all that with it

And no, the people this article is aimed at can’t make decisions for themselves. Hence the looking in the bible when you’re not sure if your husband should be spanking you or not. If they could make decisions for themselves they would know wether or not they were going to let that happen before they opened the book.

Suggestions for Introducing CDD to Your Wife

1.  Husbands, you are in a stickier situation.  It is one thing to tell your husband you need correction, but it is quite another to tell your wife she needs discipline.  Take it slowly.  Maybe consider introducing it to her a bit at a time.

2.  If she is already committed to living in a Biblical marriage (i.e. husband the head of the household), you are blessed.  Explain to her the Biblical justifications for CDD (for more information, see Understanding Christian Domestic Discipline), and gently suggest you use CDD.

3.  If she is not committed to living in a Christian marriage, suggest you do a Bible Study together on Biblical roles in marriage.

4.  If she is not a Christian, you might consider emphasizing research on CDD marriages that suggest a greater intimacy between the couple, enhanced trust and communication, and great sex lives.

5.  Be positive.  Tell her what a great wife she is.  Tell her you would like to use CDD to make a good marriage even better.

6.  Reassure her of your love.  Though you might bring her pain during punishment, you would never do her any lasting harm.

7.  If she is afraid of spanking or completely set against it, begin with alternative punishments.

8.  Suggest you begin CDD in a limited capacity (for example, agree to use only your hand with a ten swat limit) until she is more comfortable with the relationship.

9.  Assure her you’re not a sadist, and though you might be turned on by seeing her behind or by her submission to you, you will never gain pleasure from causing her pain.

10.  Suggest she join some of the CDD Forums to discuss her fears and reservations with other women who are living in a CDD marriage.

THAT IS COERCION MY FRIEND! Oh, you don’t want to be spanked? Are you really committed to living a biblical marriage? Perhaps we should do a bible study.

It’s mind control. It’s brain washing. But most of it’s already done for you. All you have to do is read the right passages and you’re in, man.

For someone who I thought believed in freedom, you seem all too keen on taking women’s right’s back thousands of years.

Freedom is not something I have to believe in.  We are simply free. Free to make mistakes, free to abuse and confine ourselves, free to pass judgements on those we barely know.

Still, humans looking to an ancient book as a guideline on how to live their lives = not a good thing

Maybe not, but it’s pretty well what our whole social and moral code is based on.

For someone who I thought believed in freedom, you seem all too keen on taking women’s right’s back thousands of years.

Since feminism was and is all about giving women equal status with men in terms of legality, life choices and freedom, how is it “taking women’s right’s back thousands of years” if an individual woman chooses to utilise those same rights in order to make a consensual choice with a partner to adopt DD in her relationship?  Her status as a person in her own right is still protected by law and society as is that of every other (western) woman.  It is a pretty poor assault on women’s rights when the only thing that is affected by her choice is her private and personal relationship with her husband or partner.

And no, the people this article is aimed at can’t make decisions for themselves.Hence the looking in the bible when you’re not sure if your husband should be spanking you or not.  If they could make decisions for themselves they would know wether or not they were going to let that happen before they opened the book.

Assuming that you are correct that, “the people this article is aimed at can’t make decisions for themselves”, that would mean that someone else has to make decisions for them.  Since they are supposedly incapable and should not be allowed to seek guidance from their chosen medium of the bible, what body of people or legislators do you propose should have the right to organise and police their private lives?  Should there be ‘Big Brother’ style cameras in their houses and where do you draw the line?

As to “looking in the bible when you’re not sure if your husband should be spanking you or not”, actually that would be a complete waste of time and effort since the bible makes no mention of a husband spanking a wife in any shape or form.  It is true that some Christians look to the bible for guidance on the roles of a husband and wife in marriage but the adoption of DD is not directly related to this and is entirely an independent decision.

THAT IS COERCION MY FRIEND! Oh, you don’t want to be spanked? Are you really committed to living a biblical marriage? Perhaps we should do a bible study.

It’s mind control. It’s brain washing. But most of it’s already done for you. All you have to do is read the right passages and you’re in, man.

Two problems with your logic here.  Firstly, in the great majority of cases, it is the woman who proposes DD.  She reads about it, or hears about it and then goes to her husband and asks if they can consider it.  Some men are okay with the idea and other men are not.  So what you have is two people discussing the introduction of DD subject to mutual agreement.  No brainwashing, no coercion just a consensual decision one way or the other based on a two sided conversation.  Secondly, as I said above, there isn’t any mention of DD in the bible so you’d be hard put to use it as a form of emotional blackmail in the way that you describe.

Why so many views on this topic? You got a spider look it over everyday so you can tell whether you are needed here anymore?

Away with you internet warrior. Your cause means nothing to us, we were only getting a laugh out of it.

Why so many views on this topic? You got a spider look it over everyday so you can tell whether you are needed here anymore?

Nothing so clever I’m afraid.  As with most forums of which I am a member, I have the settings on “Notify me via email when someone posts in this thread”.  Since your posts here indicate that you are reading this topic at least as frequently as me, I had assumed that your settings were the same.

Away with you internet warrior. Your cause means nothing to us, we were only getting a laugh out of it.

If “internet warrior” means someone who offers an alternative view, then I suppose I am one and it bothers me not at all.  Certainly there seems to be something that intimidates you about my posts or you wouldn’t be so desperate to run me off, so perhaps “warrior” fits the bill.  Who are the collective “us” to whom you refer when you say, “Your cause means nothing to us”?  Are you the officially appointed spokesman for the entire forum membership or could it be that other members can decide and speak for themselves?  While few people have agreed with me, enough people have contributed intelligently and thoughtfully to this topic to make it into a two way and useful discussion.  Others, as you say, were clearly “getting a laugh out of it” and since that too constitutes a viewpoint, I see nothing wrong with that either.

This discussion is far from useful. Here we are debating whether or not women are equal, whether or not a man should run a woman’s life, and if a husband should be beating his wife. History will look back at this time as a dark age, when despite all our contradictory technological and scientific breakthroughs man still clung to ancient mythos and manuscript. It’s my business because I would like us as a species to progress past the time of the birth of christ.

37 we’re not free. We’re far too impressionable to ever know freedom. You might use some kind of existential hippy bullshit to make excuses for the sheppards and the sheep but I see it differently.  I for one am tired of ancient cults and plutocracies fleecing us generation after generation, brainwashing us from birth to become their pawns. I’m tired of them piting us against each other in war and yoking us with their labor, debt and superstitions.

I’m sorry I’m just not going to condone people’s stupidity. It’s too fucking dangerous.

swl2 - 21 July 2008 09:05 PM

Why so many views on this topic? You got a spider look it over everyday so you can tell whether you are needed here anymore?

Nothing so clever I’m afraid.  As with most forums of which I am a member, I have the settings on “Notify me via email when someone posts in this thread”.  Since your posts here indicate that you are reading this topic at least as frequently as me, I had assumed that your settings were the same.

Actually I post here, so when I see a new post I read and respond to it. You on the other hand post here about this and only this. That’s why you are an internet warrior. You have no business here except for your cause. You’re like the ADL jews who see something posted against Israel on a forum and all go to defend the faith. It’s not just them either, you constitute a new internet lobby force which is degrading to open and unbiased discussion. Pick your cause and go attack. Environmentalists, War-mongers, Feminists, and dumbasses like you. All the same.

Your script is boring. Last time I respond to you, I won’t give you anymore reason to be here.

If you are reading this in the late 20th Century, EVERYTHING YOU KNOW REALLY IS WRONG. You are an uncivilized, ignorant, BARBARIC peasant that will be looked back upon by future generations with every bit as much pity as you regard the plague-ridden wretches of Downtown Medieval Europe.

Your “civilization” got off so heavily on the WRONG FOOT, is so far OFF THE TRACK, and will keep going SO FAR from where it is “meant” to be, that YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SLACK IS.

--Page 14, Book of the Subgenius

It seems that despite being so “boring”, I’ve really gotten to you.  You say, “ Actually I post here, so when I see a new post I read and respond to it.”, but I have yet to see a “response” to anything that I or anything else that anyone has said on this topic.  All you have done so far is to spout a constant stream of unoriginal and cliched invective which effectively transmits the message that anyone may have an opinion or choice, provided that it tallies precisely with yours.  In the event that anyone falls outside that unusually narrow and blinkered field of vision they are unfavourably compared with your dangerously generalised and stereotypical idea of hostile racial, religious, gender, or political groups.  I may very well be an “internet warrior”, but at least I am not a metaphorical book burner.  If you really want to see ‘civilisation’ then you need to let go of your paranoid fanaticism and give other people some of that “slack”.

This discussion is far from useful. Here we are debating whether or not women are equal, whether or not a man should run a woman’s life, and if a husband should be beating his wife. History will look back at this time as a dark age, when despite all our contradictory technological and scientific breakthroughs man still clung to ancient mythos and manuscript. It’s my business because I would like us as a species to progress past the time of the birth of christ.

I don’t feel that we are so much “debating whether or not women are equal, whether or not a man should run a woman’s life, and if a husband should be beating his wife” as whether the individual should be allowed freedom of personal choice.  Although, like you, many people may feel that the choice for Chritianity is outdated, do we not all live by some kind of personal ethos and code?  As evidenced by thousands of years of history, no matter what the changes that take place in this world, what is progression to one person will inevitably be regression to another.

“Existiential hippie bullshit,” huh. 

You’re as free as you choose to be, sorry you chose a Universe of shepards and sheep. 

This is a pretty intractable discussion and I can see this thread going nowhere—I leave y’all to it.

spankings are not beatings they are LOVING correction, i have NEVER felt so loved as i do after my HOH spanks me, i know that seems odd but it is true, i feel loved, i kiss him and thank him for spanking me and i mean it, and no i was not abused as a child, quite he opposite i was never spanked or disciplined but i craved it, i wished my parents would spank me, noe my man does it for me and i am better for it