Aftercare: Comfort and physical care given to the wife after a punishment spanking.
Arnica Gel: A topical gel (usually aloe for its cooling effect) made from a flowering perennial plant, Arnica Montana, which is thought beneficial in healing bruises, swelling, and pain.
CDD: Acronym for Christian Domestic Discipline. An arrangement between a Christian married couple that involves the husband having authority in the household and enforcing that authority through spanking or other means of punishment.
Maintenance Spanking: Spankings given in regular intervals for the purpose of maintaining a submissive mindset in a wife, correcting minor faults, and/or reinforcing marital roles.
And in case you were wondering how to bring this up with your signifigant other, they explain that too:
Suggestions for Introducing CDD to Your Husband
1. Make it clear this is a need of yours, not just some passing fancy. Acknowledge it might sound weird, but up until the middle of the 20th century it was very common, and even today thousands practice CDD.
2. You might tell him you believe God created women to want to feel a man’s strength and authority. It makes her feel more secure and protected. Plus, it gives him an “edge” or “persona” of power that makes him very attractive to you.
3. Explain to him that wanting CDD does not make you a masochist. You simply want him to have true authority in your marriage. Living in the roles God has created for you is the real attraction of CDD, not the pain/punishment. Spankings/punishments are necessary but may not be enjoyable for either party.
4. Point out that CDD marriages are among the best in the world. Couples in these types of relationships report greater intimacy, special closeness, increased trust, and fantastic sex lives in their marriages.
5. You might mention he would have a more definitive voice in the marriage, but don’t make a big deal out of the advantages to him. Most men abhor the thought of causing their wife pain and to do so for their own gain will not sound attractive to him.
Suggestions for Introducing CDD to Your Wife
1. Husbands, you are in a stickier situation. It is one thing to tell your husband you need correction, but it is quite another to tell your wife she needs discipline. Take it slowly. Maybe consider introducing it to her a bit at a time.
2. If she is already committed to living in a Biblical marriage (i.e. husband the head of the household), you are blessed. Explain to her the Biblical justifications for CDD (for more information, see Understanding Christian Domestic Discipline), and gently suggest you use CDD.
3. If she is not committed to living in a Christian marriage, suggest you do a Bible Study together on Biblical roles in marriage.
4. If she is not a Christian, you might consider emphasizing research on CDD marriages that suggest a greater intimacy between the couple, enhanced trust and communication, and great sex lives.
5. Be positive. Tell her what a great wife she is. Tell her you would like to use CDD to make a good marriage even better.
6. Reassure her of your love. Though you might bring her pain during punishment, you would never do her any lasting harm.
7. If she is afraid of spanking or completely set against it, begin with alternative punishments.
8. Suggest you begin CDD in a limited capacity (for example, agree to use only your hand with a ten swat limit) until she is more comfortable with the relationship.
9. Assure her you’re not a sadist, and though you might be turned on by seeing her behind or by her submission to you, you will never gain pleasure from causing her pain.
10. Suggest she join some of the CDD Forums to discuss her fears and reservations with other women who are living in a CDD marriage.
A recurrent theme among feminist is that *men made women rebel*. Largely ignored is that men in legislatures first actually gave women the vote and then to granted them equal rights in other areas of life. Equality was supposed to improve the world. Not surprisingly, *women’s liberation* failed to live up to its promises.
Hahahhaha.
A recurrent theme among black men is that *white men made black men rebel*. Largely ignored is that white men in the WHITE HOUSE first actually gave black men the vote and then also granted them equal rights in other areas of life. Equality was supposed to improve the world. Not surprisingly, *black power* failed to live up to its promises and black people still squander away their gifts in ghettos smoking crack.
I think I’m going to tell a black man that and see how long it takes before he kicks my ass.
Despite human invention to the contrary, Genesis 3:16 is as true to day as when it was written.
Leave it up to good old G-hova to give people these crazy thoughts. I suppose if the whore didn’t eat the apple we would still be in paradise. GOD WANTS YOU TO BEAT THEM FOR THAT TRANSGRESSION!! Here’s Gen 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Wow, this is really horrible stuff. I think that the women who allow themselves or even want to go along with this have almost certainly been previous victims of abuse at some point in their lives. That’s really what this is, an excuse for domestic violence.
As someone who follows Jesus, I would like to say that the Bible does not teach this, and the vast majority of Christians who are even aware of these cults are completely horrified by them. People can and do twist verses around to their own twisted purposes all the time. I wish there was a way to prosecute the people who teach these things and give them jail time for domestic abuse.
Finally, why would you want to deny an adult married couple the right to decide consensually and mutually how they wish to lead their private and intimate lives?
Amen! I cheerfully agree, all humans have the right to build their own cages and destroy their own lives. Further, they have the right to justify that however they please.
God knows I’m not interested in anyone’s critique of my own on-going demolition project.
There’s an element of playground finger-pointing that marks most writing about “weird” sexual practices and arrangements, something I would like to avoid as much as possible in the Hump Jones book.
^^Wow, really sorry about that....clearly I accidentally edited over Swl2’s very eloquent and lengthy rebuttal post....and I am unable to fix it. Bummed. Sorry to obliterate your first post on the forum, especially since it was probably going to be your only one.
Not to worry. I could easily re-write it since I’m pretty sure of what I said. However, firstly I would not be at all surprised if my new effort did not not also disappear also, and secondly, I doubt very much that many people would be interested anyway, while those who were would hold similar views to yours. As with many other issues in this world, acceptance of the principles of free speech and choice seem only to extend as far as each individual’s personal limits and perceptions of life.
Incidentally, DD is just one part of my life not the sole and only focus and it is more than possible that I will post on other issues unless I am unwelcome here.
Please, doubt the second part but not the first. I’m not being deceptive here, and the only thing that’s flatly unwelcome here is spam and advertising. Any perspective that’s an actual perspective is welcome, and you surely fit that bill.
I apogize again, but I also agree, this is not a large audience and they won’t be swayed by much you have to say.
My apologies thirtyseven. I do know that from experience that, as a forum administrator, it is only to easy to accidently edit someone else’s post.
Just for the record, although I expect no agreement or positive responses, I will restate more or less what I posted the first time.
Firstly, I’d like to address the opinion that women involved in domestic discipline relations,
“have almost certainly been previous victims of abuse at some point in their lives”
. In fact, on the internet alone, there are hundreds of forums and websites concerned with this subject and their female members must run into tens of thousands. On that basis, it seems highly unlikely that all of these women are former victims of abuse. As a DD wife myself, I have never encountered abuse, and few of my online and ‘real time’ DD acquaintances have either.
Secondly, I would dispute the conclusion that a lifestyle choice wanted and consensually agreed by two competent adults falls into the category of
“domestic violence”
Thirdly, may I point out that nowhere on the ‘Christian Domestic Discipline’ website does it actually claim that the bible teaches DD. While many Christians whether in a DD relationship or not, believe that certain passages in the scriptures advocate the husband as head of the marital household, I don’t know of any who would claim that there is advocacy, or even mention, of wife spanking in the bible. On the contrary, the biblical connection seems to stem entirely from the thought process of persons who are opposed to DD, and promote the unfounded notion that Christianity plus a DD Lifestyle choice automatically leads to a claim that DD is ‘biblical’. As such, there is no twisting of verses for anyone’s
“twisted purposes”
involved, although there is certainly a tendency to twist and wrongly interpret the words of the authors of the CDD and other DD websites.
Forthly, leaving aside the sweeping and unsubstantiated statement that
“the vast majority of Christians who are even aware of these cults are completely horrified by them”
, (I mean, who on this earth can know exactly what the
“vast majority” of Christians
think about anything? ) I’m puzzled as to how a personal lifestyle choice made individual couples in the privacy of their own perfectly ordinary homes and involving neither a religious sect, nor a separate religion, can be described as a “cult”.
Finally, I would dispute the idea that a place like the CDD website has the power to “teach” anything which people do not want to learn. Like most sites of its kind, it simply fulfills a need for those persons who are searching for answers, information, or online discussion on a subject of interest. Whatever the claims made by those who have an axe to grind, it is actually quite difficult to inadvertantly “stumble on” a DD site, because most are private and not listed on the search engines, while the rest are only accessible if you input specific terms like ‘domestic discipline’ or ‘spanking’ into a search box. Ergo, unless you are purposefully looking for these things, you will not find them. Since you would be unlikely to advocate prosecution and imprisonment for married adults who search for, say, information or discussion on how to spice up their private sex lives, I am puzzled as to why you believe that practioners of DD should not be legally allowed the same free choice.
Whatever the claims made by those who have an axe to grind, it is actually quite difficult to inadvertantly “stumble on” a DD site, because most are private and not listed on the search engines, while the rest are only accessible if you input specific terms like ‘domestic discipline’ or ‘spanking’ into a search box. Ergo, unless you are purposefully looking for these things, you will not find them.
It’s the internet everything is easy to “stumble upon”. You don’t have to look for it yourself, someone who knows someone who reads someone’s blog who got emailed by someone could have found it and passed it along. Stupid argument through and through.
You came here only to post about this. This probably isn’t the first forum you’ve run this script on. Thirtyseven might not run you off but let me be the one to say, Get the fuck out. You’re like an attack robot for your ideal. I’ve seen your type a lot for many different causes, from ‘Jews rule the world’ to ‘Scientology’. You’re all programmed basically the same only the keywords change.
And we aren’t blind you can stop with the all bold.
My apologies for the bold font. I have found in the past that many people have problems with the size and nature of the font on these forums and have therefore got into the habit of bolding my type to make it easier for them to read. However, as you say, not everyone has a need for this and since it is clearly a source of offence to you, I will refrain from using it on this particular forum.
I stand by my opinion that it isn’t easy for an individual to independently stumble upon a domestic discipline site without actually typing those words in a search box, but I am in agreement with you that information is often passed from person to person and site to site on the internet resulting in an increase in publicity and interest for topics that wouldn’t otherwise be widely known. On the other hand, we (people in DD relationships) are just a another bunch of people talking on the internet about the way we have chosen to lead our lives and there really isn’t any secret ‘cult’ agenda to take over the world and force everyone into adopting DD. In fact, the great majority of DD relationships that I have encountered in my six years on the internet aren’t based on religion at all.
Very interesting argument for my removal from what purports to be a site for “discussion”. Basically it seems to amount to a declaration that anyone (or is it just me?) who responds to a topic with a viewpoint different from your own is automatically a religious and/or political “robot” who should not be allowed the freedom to express an opinion. If nothing else, that would make it rather difficult to have real ‘discussion’ about anything. Personally I think this comes much closer to a dictatorial “Jews rule the world’ to ‘Scientology’” attitude than anything I have said to date. After all, it isn’t as if I were saying that everyone has to agree with me and should adopt the concept of DD as if it were the ‘one true way’. On the contrary, I think it is very much a personal choice and would be an unmitigated disaster for any person or couple who did not want DD in their relationship.
Assuming that I am allowed to remain a member, you may or may not be correct about whether I posts on other topics here. It really depends on whether there are subjects in which I am interested or have any knowledge.
8. Suggest you begin CDD in a limited capacity (for example, agree to use only your hand with a ten swat limit) until she is more comfortable with the relationship.
