Just fucking do it is frankly horrible advice and a second circuit loser script for morons with 20th century ideas about how willpower is produced by the brain. Just fucking do it is what the stupid manager says to dominate employees that are smarter then him when he’s being intellectually lazy. If you need to run “just fucking do it” in your os, you aren’t seeing the right things or integrating aggression in a useful way. “just fucking do it” implies you aren’t doing it. you are stupid. lazy. need to be yelled at to get shit done, that there is one way to do things and that your work will someday be done (which means it won’t become stabilized as a trait. Fuck that shit. “I’ve already started.” “I’m doing it every day.”
Look at what you wrote again. Allow me to summarize:
I I I I I I I mine I I I mine I want I I I want
Read what you wrote out loud The transformation you seek comes when you drop the I. You cannot see what needs to get done when I I I I I is running automatic loops in your head. You don’t want efficiency, you want to be the hero that makes it happen, which is a childish pre-conventional narcissistic drive. This is not an efficient attitude towards making change happen. You do not “do what you want with them (occult and psychology and meditation tools)”. Instead, you open yourself up to places of extreme vulnerability so they can do what they want with you, and then from that new perspective, you decide what you really want to do, letting go of the old ‘wants’. You sound to me like your dystonic ego is plugged into these tools wrong. You don’t use these tools to make what your unevolved ego wants happen. You use these tools to lose your ego and then you see what obviously needs to happen but that your ego blinded you too. Then you use other tools to achieve what you see is possible and urgent.
These tools are not like shopping at the mall where you pay X and get Y in return. That you still talk about them in this way indicates you have not made much progress with them.
How about dropping the bullshit and going straight to the source? Buy some tickets to someplace mushrooms are legal (or grow a pair and break the law without getting caught) and clean the “I I I I I” out of your head. Take a couple more grams then recommended and lay down with good music or go to nature. Then, while you’re egoless and reality seems unbearably real, try and see something useful no one understands. You are looking for medium size ideas towards which you can direct behavioral integration to instigate a paradigm shift, that aren’t so big as to destroy you, and aren’t trivial. Maybe it’s art or a book or a scientific hypothesis. It’s not what you want, it’s what you see is possible when you kill the ‘you’ that wants. Then, once you have a vision of what might be possible, develop intentionality towards that end. First, you merge with the plant to obtain temporary state access, and then you use the tools to support development that over a lifetime will stabilize access to those states, transforming them into character traits in pursuit of the possibilities you’re egoless eye perceive.
Within this process, super-empowering tons of people or yourself is not the game. That frame shows a disdain for pre-conventional and conventional stages of development essential for later stages to evolve. This disdain for lower levels of evolutionary progress shows you have not made the quantum leap to valuing the entire spectrum of evolution. You can’t make people jump from pre-conventional paradigms to post-post conventional paradigms until they have had a chance to go through conventional and post conventional paradigms, and so superempowering tons of people is a dangerous game that will ultimately not lead to stable access to post-post conventional levels. At the personal level, you can’t get from “I want my meditation to let me be a hero” to “eye meditate holy to see reality holographically” without going through conventional stages of progress on your exercises. Disowning lower evolutionary states in culture or in your psyche keeps you bound to them by creating shadow.
The game is to find a way to make evolution happen anywhere along the chain of being, both in yourself and the world, so stable access to more evolved levels comes about. You could help people go from survival to pre-conventional to conventional levels of development (h2o to third world) or help people go from post-conventional to holographic ways of seeing the world (Robert Anton Wilson’s books), or change your spiritual practice from pre-conventional to conventional when you start worrying more about connecting with others as you and they actually are and less about changing the unevolved parts of yourself you hate. At each stage, you have to evolve to the next stage. No skipping stages. You can vacation in other stages, but you cannot stabilize access to stages out of order. You are talking like you hate seeds and saplings and small trees and want to grow acorns into ancient forests without any intermediate steps, because you just love ancient forests. That’s not useful or efficient or possible.
I think you should check out Ken Wilbur’s book “Integral Spirituality” I believe it would help you understand how these tools relate to both personal change and changing the world. It sounds to me like you won’t make any progress on your goals until you give yourself permission to evolve the scaffolding that will eventually support stable access to the states you seek and probably glimpsed. It sounds to me you are so attached to dreaming of the higher states that you won’t evolve the necessary intermediate steps to support stabilized awareness to the states you are paralysed dreaming of.
