Todd Bentley, apocalypse-loving, faith-healing, Gen X super-preacher. 
Posted: 03 September 2008 07:29 AM   [ Ignore ]
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Just caught up on Bentley today via Alternet:

Theocratic Sect Prays for Real Armageddon
http://www.alternet.org/story/96945/theocratic_sect_prays_for_real_armageddon/?page=entire

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Bentley

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakeland_revival

Wiki’s LULZ are like no other…

The main focus of the services were on what supporters believe to be divine healing of conditions such as cancer, deafness, diabetes, and paralysis. Bentley’s most controversial claims consisted of twenty cases where he says the dead were raised. In an effort to verify claims of healing, Bentley’s staff said they welcomed as much documentation as people were willing to give, including verification from doctors. Nightline’s June 2008 investigation was unable to independently verify any of the healings.

Also quite rich:

At times, the healing services were criticized in mainstream media and on internet blogs for the occasional violence done to the participants.Todd Bentley was known to forcefully kick, hit, smack or knock over participants. In one incident a man was knocked over and lost a tooth. In another, an elderly woman was intentionally kicked in the face. During such times Bentley holds that the Holy Spirit led him to such actions.

IF THAT’S ADMISSABLE IN COURT I MIGHT JUST BE ABOUT TO CONVERT—PRAISE JESUS!!!!!

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Posted: 03 September 2008 07:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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From the Alternet piece:

LAKELAND, Fla.—Todd Bentley has a long night ahead of him, resurrecting the dead, healing the blind, and exploding cancerous tumors. Since April 3, the 32-year-old, heavily tattooed, body-pierced, shaved-head Canadian preacher has been leading a continuous “supernatural healing revival” in central Florida. To contain the 10,000-plus crowds flocking from around the globe, Bentley has rented baseball stadiums, arenas and airport hangars at a cost of up to $15,000 a day. Many in attendance are church pastors themselves who believe Bentley to be a prophet and don’t bat an eye when he tells them he’s seen King David and spoken with the Apostle Paul in heaven. “He was looking very Jewish,” Bentley notes.

Tattooed across his sternum are military dog tags that read “Joel’s Army.” They’re evidence of Bentley’s generalship in a rapidly growing apocalyptic movement that’s gone largely unnoticed by watchdogs of the theocratic right. According to Bentley and a handful of other “hyper-charismatic” preachers advancing the same agenda, Joel’s Army is prophesied to become an Armageddon-ready military force of young people with a divine mandate to physically impose Christian “dominion” on non-believers.

“An end-time army has one common purpose—to aggressively take ground for the kingdom of God under the authority of Jesus Christ, the Dread Champion,” Bentley declares on the website for his ministry school in British Columbia, Canada. “The trumpet is sounding, calling on-fire, revolutionary believers to enlist in Joel’s Army. ... Many are now ready to be mobilized to establish and advance God’s kingdom on earth.”

Joel’s Army followers, many of them teenagers and young adults who believe they’re members of the final generation to come of age before the end of the world, are breaking away in droves from mainline Pentecostal churches. Numbering in the tens of thousands, they base their beliefs on an esoteric reading of the second chapter of the Old Testament Book of Joel, in which an avenging swarm of locusts attacks Israel. In their view, the locusts are a metaphor for Joel’s Army.

Despite their overt militancy, there’s no evidence Joel’s Army followers have committed any acts of violence. But critics warn that actual bloodletting may only be a matter of time for a movement that casts itself as God’s avenging army.

Those sounding the alarm about Joel’s Army are not secular foes of the Christian Right, few of whom are even aware of the movement or how widespread it’s become in the past decade. Instead, Joel’s Army critics are mostly conservative Christians, either neo-Pentecostals who left the movement in disgust or evangelical Christians who fear that Joel’s Army preachers are stealing their flocks, even sending spies to infiltrate their own congregations and sway their young people to heresy. And they say the movement is becoming frightening.

“The pitch and intensity of the military rhetoric of this branch of the global Dominionist movement has substantially increased since the beginning of 2008,” writes The Discernment Research Group, a Christian watchdog group that tracks what they call heresies or cults within Christianity. “One can only wonder how long before this transforms into real warfare with actual warriors.”

I Know What You’re Thinking

...did that pudgy motherfucker call Jesus “The Dread Champion”?  Yep, and it’s scriptural:

Jeremiah 20:11 But the LORD is with me like a dread champion, herefore my persecutors will stumble and not prevail. They will be utterly ashamed, because they have failed, With an everlasting disgrace that will not be forgotten.

Yeah, tell that to Ozymandias.

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Posted: 03 September 2008 07:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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More from Alternet:

Rick Joyner, a pastor whose books, The Harvest and The Call, helped popularize Joel’s Army theology by selling more than a million copies each, goes the furthest on Elijah’s List in pushing the hardliner approach. In 2006, he posted a sermon called “The Warrior Nation—The New Sound of the Church,” in which he claimed that a last-day army is now gathering and called believers “freedom fighters.”

“As the church begins to take on this resolve, they [Joel’s Army churches] will start to be thought of more as military bases, and they will begin to take on the characteristics of military bases for training, equipping, and deploying effective spiritual forces,” Joyner wrote. “In time, the church will actually be organized more as a military force with an army, navy, air force, etc.”

Two years later, in his book The Final Quest, Joyner described a vision (taken as prophecy in the Joel’s Army world, where Joyner is considered an “apostle") of the coming Christian Civil War in which demon-possessed Christian soldiers enslave other, weaker Christians who resist them. He also describes how the hero of the novel—himself—ascends a “Holy Mountain” in order to learn new truths and to acquire new, magic weapons.

holy_mountain.gif

Yeah, I saw that movie, too.

Bizarrely, Joyner’s company is called MorningStar Ministries, apparently his entry into the “How Stupid Can Christians Be” contest.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eosphorus

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Posted: 03 September 2008 09:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Sarah Palin’s apparently somewhat connected to this crew:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/29/163234/559/495/579213

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:25 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Is it just me, or is there always another rabbit hole just waiting for you to fall down it?

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As long as you don’t quit or die, you don’t fail.

Whatever doesn’t work 100 percent of the time needs to be fine tuned, if it can’t be fine tuned then it needs to be dropped

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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It’s a huge Universe...and another beautiful god-given day, neighbor.

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:41 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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He also describes how the hero of the novel—himself—ascends a “Holy Mountain” in order to learn new truths and to acquire new, magic weapons.

Bizarrely, Joyner’s company is called MorningStar Ministries, apparently his entry into the “How Stupid Can Christians Be” contest.

Holy cow. That guy’s picture looks terrifying - he looks like some kind of wretched shaggy buffalo weaned on too much milk.

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Snakes eating frogs, toads eating gnats;
When the spaceship beams you up, boy, get drunk fast

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:46 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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http://dogemperor.dailykos.com/

^^HOLY SHIT GOLDMINE. I’ve been uniformly unimpressed with the material and quality of Daily Kos but this dude is a sterling exception...though he does tend to repeat himself...it’s a wealth of material.  He’s been on top of the “Christian Dominion” angle for quite awhile.  I had no idea that both Hobby Lobby and International House of Prayer were fronts for End Times Evangelism.

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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So I don’t know how all these groups are connected (probably they aren’t, exactly: 4GW) but I been watching this one group slowly slurp up property in my old hometown for years:
http://www.pitch.com/2002-10-10/news/return-of-the-prophets/1

some more:
http://endtimespropheticwords.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/mike-bickle-ihop-cult-like-tendancies/
http://jcadvocate.com/print.asp?ArticleID=418&SectionID=1&SubSectionID=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_House_of_Prayer

lots of punk and skater kids i’ve known over the years floated in and out of there, but i always steered clear of the real zealous ones. when they first got it started, they’d do stuff like circle up around some poor schmoe raking his leaves and just passive-aggressively and noisily ‘pray for him’. When he decides he don’t wanna live by no cult and moves, they buy his house.

oy, howcum more christians aren’t quakers.

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Posted: 03 September 2008 10:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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Yeah, I’m tripping over the fact IHOP is a front for this, I’m literally looking at one down the block out my living room window right now.  I’m definitely gonna stop in this Sunday.

The end of that Alternet piece was heavy—it did take me all day to read it since I keep going off on googletangents:

IHOP members and other Joel’s Army adherents are well aware of how their movement is perceived by other conservative Christians.

“Today, you can type ‘Joel’s Army’ into a search engine and a thousand heresy hunter websites pop up, decrying the very mention of it,” writes John Crowder in The New Mystics. Crowder doesn’t exactly allay critic’s fears. “This is truly warfare,” he writes. “This battle is not a game. They [Joel’s Army warriors] will not be on the defense; they will be on the offense—and the gates of hell will not be able to hold up against them.”

So far, few members of the secular media have taken notice of Joel’s Army, even as they report on Protestant dominionists like Pat Robertson or the more outrageous calls for the stoning of gays and lesbians emanating from Reconstructionist circles. There are exceptions, however. On the DailyKos, a well-read, politically liberal blog, a diarist has been blogging for two years about her experiences as a walkaway from a Joel’s Army church. She writes under a pseudonym out of fear of physical reprisals.

She may have real cause for concern. As Wimber, the late founder of The Vineyard, put it in one of his most famous and fiery sermons, one that is still frequently cited by Joel’s Army followers: “Those in this army will have His kind of power. ... Anyone who wants to harm them must die.”

Clearly that’s ol’ dogemperor.  A curious pseudonym.  (Of course, since we mentioned Dreams End and Ty Brown, we got Sue De Nymme posting here...)

Anyways, speaking as someone who’s actually beheld the gates of hell or something resembling that, I really don’t think a bunch of amped up Christian kids with paramilitary training stand a fucking chance in....well, heck.

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Posted: 03 September 2008 11:09 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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oh shit, i did NOT realize til today any of these ihoppers had connections to the Phineas Priesthood:
http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2008/06/destroying-wind.html
(search dave’s site for more: http://www.google.com/search?q=site:dneiwert.blogspot.com+phineas )

doubly glad i decided not to post any of the more personal stories.

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Posted: 27 January 2009 06:47 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Upping because this is an important thread.  There’s also more here on “Operation Ice Castle”
http://www.brainsturbator.com/forums/viewthread/1072/

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