Anyone Remember Basra?

+ expand info  //  view thread  //  6 responses  //  print article

here's your fucking terrorists, moronHere’s a classic little story that just never gets old:

“Two persons wearing Arab uniforms opened fire at a police station in Basra. A police patrol followed the attackers and captured them to discover they were two British soldiers. Their car was full of explosives and they were taken into custody.”

Curious stuff, eh?

Let’s state right at the beginning that we’re not—as in, we are not—making the claim that all the carbombs in Baghdad are coming from white guys in turbans.  That’s idiotic.  It also misses the entire point of having special forces in the first place, but that’s beyond the scope of this article.  What matters is that this happened.

This is an important story that nobody should forget --- you know why?  Because even though Americans have forgotten all about this, nobody in Iraq has forgotten for a f***ing second.

So Two British Guys Walk Into a Prison in Basra...

If you have a black sense of humor, prepare for a barrel of laughs.  If you are disgusted by how many innocent Iraqis and Americans have been killed, this might inspire homicidal rage.  Caveat Emptor.

So first of all, that photo that opened up this article?  You were never supposed to see it.  As Jeff (thanks for the photo) Wells notes on Rigorous Intuition:


No, no, no --- wait, it gets better.

Deus Ex Machina

So when two British Special forces guys got captured, after shooting at a police station, in a car full of explosives....and oh yeah, did I mention they might have been dressed like Arabs? Accounts vary, we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on that count, since after all, they were captured after shooting at police from a car, full of explosives.  And after all, they’re clearly not dressed as Arabs in the photo.


These two dudes got bailed out by a tank and a battalion of Special Forces troops.  Here’s the scoop off the AP wire, a hotbed of anti-Bush liberalism:

British forces using tanks broke down the walls of the central jail in the southern city of Basra late Monday and freed two Britons, allegedly undercover commandos, who had been arrested on charges of shooting two Iraqi policemen.

Witnesses said about 150 Iraqi prisoners also fled the jail.

Violence flared earlier in the day as demonstrators hurled stones and Molotov cocktails at British tanks; at least four people were killed.

In case you ever wondered what an Iraqi police station looks like after you drive a tank through it, now you know.

Also, all the photos in this article are not generic “arab unrest” pics, they’re actually BBC photos of the “rescue” attempt being disrupted by some very angry locals.  Four British troops died in the rescue attempt, paying for sins they never committed.

Wait, Wait, Wait....

This is obviously just another wacky conspiracy theory, so don’t get too upset over it.  There is, after all, no evidence to back this up.  Except for the following:

Washington Post:

BASRA, Iraq, Sept. 19—Heavy clashes erupted Monday between Iraqi police and British soldiers based in Basra, Iraq’s second-largest city, witnesses said.

The clashes are the latest in surging tensions in Basra, a Shiite-dominated city that had long been one of Iraq’s calmest. Attacks have targeted British and Americans there.

Monday’s clashes stemmed from the arrest by Iraqi police on Sunday of two Britons, whom Iraqi police accused of planting bombs.

A Western military spokesman in Basra confirmed “an ongoing disturbance” in the city on Monday but said Iraqi and British force were working together to try to quell it.


British forces in Iraq are patrolling a tense city after UK armored vehicles crashed into a detention center in Basra and later rescued two undercover troops apparently held by Shiite militia.

The operation prompted condemnation by a senior local Iraqi official on Tuesday and renewed calls by a British opposition party for the UK government to withdraw from Iraq.

The dramatic raid on Monday followed a day of rioting in the southern Iraqi city, sparked when the two soldiers were said by police and local officials to have fired on an Iraqi police patrol.

Enjoy your day—you’re still alive, after all.

6 responses to "Anyone Remember Basra?"

  • avatar

    Nov 20, 2006 at 10:14 PM

    What the hell you mean, “innocent americans?”

    If you step on my land with a gun, that’s pretty guilty.

  • avatar

    Nov 20, 2006 at 11:21 PM

    Very interesting indeed!

  • avatar

    Nov 20, 2006 at 11:38 PM
    Dick Hefacheese

    Out of curiosity were there any negotiations between the brits and the Iraqi police?
    And where does America stand on all this?
    I don’t understand why they would have to destroy the prison in order to get these guys out when they could just get the Americans to get them out without causing a scene.
    Is there another side to the story which might explain what these guys were doing and why they needed to be rescued?

  • avatar

    Nov 21, 2006 at 6:05 AM

    Perhaps they were undercover agents on a peaceful mission and merely fired warning shots at the police. 

    Perhaps their car was full of explosives because they just confiscated them from some terrorist cell they’d infiltrated.

    Perhaps the British used tanks to get them free because there were no translators on duty to explain the perfectly innocent situation to the police there.

    Perhaps the news wire carried the stipulation that their faces be blurred out because they’re owned by the CIA.

  • avatar

    Nov 21, 2006 at 6:51 AM
    Dick Hefacheese

    Or maybe the Iraqi police force has been infiltrated by “insurgents” (which it has) and the whole story of these dudes shooting at cops and planting explosives was made up or taken out of context.
    The only evidence that I see in your post is the confirmation of the rescue and the claims of unamed Iraqi police who’s stories varry.
    There could have been negotiations prior to the rescue nothing in neither the CNN or the MSNBC article indicates that there weren’t.
    Pictures were only requested not to be released, obviously it wasn’t some big top secret coverup or else why would they even send the pictures out?
    They could have requested the pictures not be released for the soldiers safety.

    I don’t know maybe I missed something but this doesn’t seem a fraction as shady as lot of other shit going on in Iraq to me and it seems like people are hopping on that jump to conclusions mat.
    But then again I am incredibly stupid.

  • avatar

    Nov 21, 2006 at 7:03 AM
    Dick Hefacheese

    Honestly I haven’t seen a credible source backing up any of the claims made by the Iraqi police officers other than that one Chinese site.

    I’d really like to know what these dudes were actualy up to, who was holding them (CNN said it was a Shite militia), if the rioting started before or after the negotiations, and wether or not there were negotiations.

    While it is a very suspicious story, I just can’t accept the word of a couple bloggers and the official news agency of the Chinese government.

Brainsturbator on Twitter

For more updates follow Brainsturbator.