When I came across Benford’s Law, also known as the Signifigant Digit Phenomenon, I was pissed off.  Because I recently turned 26, and that means I’ve spent a quarter century of my life completely unaware of what would appear to be one of the most important mathematical laws in existence.  Worse still, this particular mathematical law was discovered in 1881, and formally proven in 1935, so I am several lifetimes behind the curve.

Surprise is good—existiential shock is even better.  As we’ll see in the course of this article, being whumped upside the head by the utterly absurd and totally unexpected is the best possible way for a human being to learn—there are whole disciplines of mathematics that define Information as “the difference that makes a difference.”

And man...this is a difference that messed my head up good.

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This is yet another preface to our upcoming series on UFOlogy—the first was our UFOlogy Library.  In the past month, I’ve received many emails from people who would rather see Brainsturbator move in a different direction.  Some of these messages have been eloquent and polite, some of them have been very confrontational—but they all make the same point: on a planet where over 16,000 children die every single day due to starvation, disease, abuse or warfare, what the fuck am I doing talking about aliens?

Well, first off, I’m not talking about aliens.  The UFO phenomenon is way stranger than mere extraterrestrials.  And that’s precisely why I’m interested in it, and why I will continue to cover it—it’s located at the center of nearly all that is weird and unexplained in the human experience.  This is slippery territory, and it’s very easy to get tripped up on your own assumptions, it’s very easy to make mistakes—huge, retarded mistakes.

In short, UFOlogy is a great study to hone your critical thinking skills—and that’s what todays article will focus on, with some considerable help from our friend, Jacques Vallee.

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Sorry.

Really, I am.

I’ve sworn a thousand times since last September that Brainsturbator would be a force of pure optimism, even past the point of willful insanity—a screaming antidote to the nihilism and impotence that infects every last part of Western Civilization, as we hang here in midair, somewhere between leaving the edge of the cliff and getting abruptly snuffed out, for no damn reason.

There’s no escaping the Kali Yuga, is there?  Darkness, death and delusion, baby.  My sense of the absurd is what keeps me afloat—like, for example, get this: the article on television got me more negative feedback than any other Brainsturbator article. I mean, that is just something else. We can shit on the Bible, slander the United States, and proclaim the entire human race to be hypnotized sheep, but don’t mess with TV. I love you all.

So here’s a break from the mundane and the monstrous—hopefully this will make y’all say “wow” out loud at least once.  It’s easy to get fixated on the fact we’re waist deep in blood—here’s some welcome distraction, consolation and beauty.

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In our previous post, I explored DMT entities and a few of the potential problems with communicating with truly alien life.  This second installment will have a lot less drugs and a lot more science—if you’re into that sort of thing.

In typical Brainsturbator fashion, I’m using the term “failure” less than half seriously (but I’m not kidding, either).  Human failure has been the most fruitful source of human invention and innovation—the whole source of human power is our ability to learn from mistakes, after all.  From repeated error we deduce universal principles, and thus we stumble towards something resembling progress.  For anyone unfamiliar with the program, SETI is the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence, and the history of this program is a valuable study.  Is it just a big mistake, or is it a case of failure by design?  Is either option nescessarily a bad thing? 

I don’t have an answer either way, but let’s take a walk further down this weird road just the same.

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Today’s article is overstuffed, I admit it.  There is literally too much going on here, but considering the subject matter, that’s appropriate.  One of the primary resources for this article is Marko Rodruigez’s excellent 2006 paper which outlines a potential method for studying the DMT experience.  This is also a meditation on the challenges and the unknown variables involved in communication with an extraterrestrial intelligence, because for the vast majority of DMT users, this is exactly what they experience. 

Having wandered into the intersection of neurology, chemistry, physics and the delicate art of tripping your balls off, it should come as no surprise that I wound up with more information, more links and connections, more possibilities and more concepts than I could coherently fit.  Nonetheless, there is going to be something new for just about anyone here—so dig in, and let me know if this was useful in getting your frontal lobes off.

After all, that’s why Brainsturbator is here.

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I know that the entire surface of American media, from Fox News to Frontline, Bills O’Rielly and Maher, Nation and National Review, is all nothing but an elaborate CIA hoax.  I have a grudging admiration for the architects of the gigantic caged experiment we call the United States.  But still, it’s amazing what gets ignored: literally the biggest news stories.

I’m sure the reader has some ideas of their own about why this is so, but that’s really not the focus here.  Whatever the terrestrial cause—and believe me, it’s Jesuits—I think any sane observer agrees that it’s a cycle now.  There’s not 500 channels of bad sex and good death because someone in power put it there, or at least not anymore.  There’s 500 channels of braindead crap because people want braindead crap.

Perhaps you’re vaguely different.  Perhaps you’re made of stronger stuff, and you’re into “reality” or “what’s going on around you”.  If so, hopefully this article will be a booster shot.

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Crop Circles are a lot more comfortable when you don’t know much about them.  For most people, crop circles are either a genuine contact with ET intelligence, or a prank on gullible hippies.  The facts are a lot more complicated, and way more disturbing.  With this fourth post, we enter a zone where unknown groups are using unknown technology for unknown reasons.  Human history is pretty clear on this much: that is almost never a good thing.

To summarize: a great majority of crop signs are clearly hoaxes, a large minority are truly impressive and at the very least exceptionally complex hoaxes, and a small fraction of them are truly f***ing weird.  We’re going to cover all three kinds here today.

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Odds are we will never run out of interesting wrinkles in the crop circle phenomenon.

After the first and second posts in this series, we’ve reached a dangerous point: a point where just posting lots of large-format pretty pictures is no longer an option.  Now it’s time for actual content, perhaps even substance, on the slippery matter of crop circles.  We have no answers—y’all should know us better than that—but we do have a number of loaded questions, and today’s Brainsturbator promises to be a whopper.  (Or, a bloated piece of shit, who knows.)

Today we deal with the problem of extraterrestrial communication—how to bridge the gap between species, and how to deal with the unthinkably vast distances separating us from....well, anything at all.  This universe is primarily empty space, and our solar system is no exception.  Once you’re a couple hundred thousand miles from Earth, it recedes into nothingness....and nothing takes it’s place as a landmark, either.  As of this writing, humanity has yet to work out a feasable solution for dealing with this --- then again, maybe it’s already been dealt with for us.

Without further bloviation, then, we introduce our third and strangest installment in a never-ending procession: the Crash Course on Crop Circles.

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Today we’ll be examining a deeply fascinating quote from Daniel Hopsicker, author of Mad Cow Morning News, which is a pretty f***ing remarkable website.  He’s also written one of the best works on 9-11, “Welcome to Terrorland”.

His contention is that the infamous “War of the Worlds” radio broadcast of Orson Welles was more than just an inspired and infamous prank—it was a deliberate experiment in mass panic, funded by the Rockefeller Foundation. Considering the Rockefellers have funded a number of very sinister people --- and especially considering the Rockefellers are currently funding Dr. Stephen Greer of the Disclosure Project --- this would be a very important precedent, if it were true.

And there’s the tricky part --- is it?

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In which we dig a little deeper, ask more questions, get less answers, and look at lots of pictures. 

Two important points to start with:

1) The hoaxers are very real and also very talented, and they’ve pulled a lot of very funny pranks on the crop circle community. 

2) There’s still a number of deeply weird and unanswered questions regarding crop circles, and the hoaxers themselves even admit that.  As usual, if you’re comfortable with logical and binary solutions, Brainsturbator is a hot paperclip under your toenails.

We’re going to seriously consider the possibility of communication with aliens, the possibility of building up an entire culture as a psychology experiment, and the possibility of space weaponry like SDI already existing for decades.  If that sounds like fun, God help you.  At least you came to the right place.

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